I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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