I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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