It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
