sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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