batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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