Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
