Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
The best revenge is premature balding
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize