Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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