you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
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So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
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True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
So vagazzling was a success
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
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