do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
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I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
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I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
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