What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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