I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
