i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
The power of my boobs compel you
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Never underestimate the power of titties
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
