So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
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He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
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What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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