Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
