Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Randomize
