i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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