you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
