i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
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