You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
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