I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
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I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
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Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Let the clothes fall where they may.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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