Ambien. No doubt about it.
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
