CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Randomize
