i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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