the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
