I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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