what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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