I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
