No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
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