I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
So I just went to clothing optional bar
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
