I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Pooping to opera.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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