What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Randomize
