My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
