You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
