I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize