Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
i think i have two assholes
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Randomize