i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
