Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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