At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I understand Curling. That high.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
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