My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
did i just pee glitter
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
