I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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