the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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