Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
