Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize