you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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