you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
