dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
what day is it and did you see me today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
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