I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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