There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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