I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
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He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
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we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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