She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
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Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
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now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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