ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
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Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
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I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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