its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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