just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
There's always time for handjobs
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
