I bet he comes in French.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
