Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Randomize
