I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
