I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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