seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
