my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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