so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
