So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
